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December 10 I looked....This morning as I sat at Panera...I thought of so many things....I was reading the book of Ezekiel...just having finished Jeremiah and Lamentations. I got to thinking how some of these prophets must have felt...Ezekiel sometimes having to live out the judgments God was going to bring upon Israel and Judah for their disobedience and how pointless it might have seemed to them some days. Knowing that Israel would choose wrongly, but that God was asking them to do it anyway.
I was also a bit retrospective about my life and how much of it has been lived for Christ...regardless of the outcome. Sometimes these thoughts are kind of negative....almost defeating...that wasn't where my mind went this morning, so bear with me :). I got to thinking about how many of my motives have been pure...not many....how many of my actions have resulted in any kind of fruit? Sometimes I wonder about such things...have I made the right choices in life...has enough of it been lived for Christ? Then I always wonder...how can I be the judge of that....guess I'll have to keep leaving that to my Father. :)
I was reading a poem written by a friend who has years ago gone to be with Father...I think she had the same thoughts sometimes...here it is....
"I looked" by Lillian Naber
I looked upon a ranch one day that once I used to play
The barn had fallen to the ground, the yards were overgrown
The house in which we children grew, where we had lived for years
I turned to see it's corner falling down and brushed aside the tears
I looked upon my soul one day to find that it too had grown
thorns and nettles everywhere the seeds of neglect were sown
The years had passed while I had cared for things of lesser worth
The things of heaven I let go while minding things of earth
To Christ I turned with bitter tears and cried o Lord forgive
I haven't much time left for thee, not many years to live
The wasted years forever gone, the days I can't recall
Oh...if I could live those years again, I'd make thee lord of all.
But those times are forever gone...into your book of my life
Revealing my lack of love for One who loved me unto death
Even to the Cross!
Now as I look back on my life...I'm not sure how much of it has been lived for Christ...I am sure it could have held different paths and different circumstances had I made different decisions, but I guess I'm not resting on confidence that anything I have done was worth much of anything (have to keep reminding myself of it sometimes)....I'm pretty confident that had my life followed a different path...it would have looked different, but would have been filled with the same questions along that path as well. I know that many of my motives have been lacking and many of my actions flawed, but I remain confident that my Father's grace is sufficient to make even these wrong and flawed motives and actions of use. As I look back on my life...that is a very consistent theme...His grace and hand among the many mistakes :)
Even in the middle of flawed motives and actions I have seen the hand of God working....and it amazes me...that He can and does do amazing things through such flawed human beings. I can with confidence say that He will likely keep doing that in my life too...surprising me by working in situations and circumstances in which I find myself...regardless...because He owns me...I am His....I love Him.
I wonder as I look upon life...what the future holds....how much life will change in years to come...but I am confident still that my Father already knows and has a plan that I can not make a mess of beyond His ability to mend. He is a GREAT God...and a GREAT and GOOD Father. October 22 A long time coming!!! :)Well,
I was just reminded by a friend of mine that I have not updated my blog in a long time. I have found that I have a lot less time these days that I used to :). For those of you who haven't heard, I was married on August 3rd of this year! Let me be the first to say that marriage is such a huge blessing! My wife and I have been reading this book called "A Sacred Marriage" and in it somewhere it says (I'll paraphrase) "Marriage doesn't bring problems...it just exposes them" How true that statement is. I have found in my first three months of marriage that I am a very selfish man...and a sinner at heart. Living selflessly has thus far meant living selflessly for about 12 hours a day...and living 12 for my-self. Marriage doubles that requirement and I have found that I am pretty selfish and stubborn and sometimes downright rude. But my wife is patient and I am slowly getting better at this :) Tom Nesbitt said in our pre-marital counseling that "God intended marriage to make you holy...not necessarily happy" and that marriage is God's holy sandpapaper for our character. How true this is. I absolutely LOVE being married...but it is not a cake walk by any means. So far it has proven to be a sancitifaction accelerator in my life :) Tara would probably say the same.
For those of you who are interested in seeing pics from the wedding...check them out here :) Yep...she makes me look good :)
If you're interested in checking out "The Light" (Cornerstone's post-college ministry) sometime...here's a link to the web-site with the downloadable teachings...fun stuff!
This morning I was reading in Isaiah and came across the verses below....it is so so encouraging that I am included in the group of "foreigners" He describes in chapter 56. Praise the Lord for being a God for all the nations! His desire is that ALL nations...ALL tribes...ALL tongues would come to know His greatness! Let me be one of many saying loud and at the top of my lungs...the God...the High and lofty one...He who lives forever...whos name is Holy...He alone is God and He alone is good!!!
July 18 How great is our God!I was reading in Corinthians this morning and came across the passage below. It is encouraging to me that God uses humility and love for Him rather than eloquence or human ability...He uses weaknesses rather than strengths to reveal His power and His strength. It is encouraging because I fall into the inarticulate and weak category...it is enocurgaing because everyone wants their life to be significant...to matter. I am very glad that real success...real significance is dependant on His ability and not my own. Paul was not a gifted speaker (at least that's what he says)...he most often didn't write things by his own hand...he claims to be foolish...and yet God used him in exactly those avenues because Paul loved the Lord. I am glad Father is not a performance driven Father or I'd be forever lacking. I'd be forever comparing myself to the next guy or my gifts to someone elses. I'd be forever longing to be somewhere I am not. I am glad I can just relax and let Him use me as He sees fit...wherever He has me...abilities or not. How great is our God! 1 Corinthians 1:26-2:5 "Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.' When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." June 28 Found!Well, this morning I had a brief quiet time..for some reason my volume on the alarm clock got set to zero and the last couple mornings getting up has been a struggle. I kept thinking " why am I not waking up to the alarm" :) Helps if the alarm is actually making noise I guess :). Anyway...so I was reflecting over Romans 10 this morning and came across these verses....
Romans 10:20-21
April 23 WOW...so much in so little time :)Well,
As I reflect on this past year, I am AMAZED at the changes around even my small life and how in the middle of the whirlwind of change, God has been the "steady eddy" He has been and continues to surprise me and amaze me! First on the list of amazing things is how He never gives up on me. I struggle from time to time with this issue or that and in the middle of it all, I find Him unmoving...unshakable...pursuing me. I give Him the praise and the glory...because honestly He deserves it. As I look around...so many changes...so many friends and family's lives that look so so different from even just a year ago. AMAZING. Then I look at the changes in my own life and how He continues to refine me and change my character for the better.
This past year He has used so many people to shape me and mold me to be better than I was just a year ago...more confident in His ability while less confident in my own...and being ok with that ironically enough :) If you are reading this...it is likely He has used you in this capacity to help shape me...let me be the first to say thanks :)
He's also used a relationship with a very special young lady named Tara this past year to help shape and refine me. She has played a very unique and special part of my life...and....last night I asked her to marry me and strangely enough...she said yes :) So...looks like we're getting married soon :) Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers. I ask that you keep them coming! :)
Our God is good! Not because the circumstances are good right now...but just because He IS good!! I am grateful that His plan prevails amidst my attempts to take control for myself :) I hope those mutinous attempts to take control get less and less as I get older :)
To Him be the glory forever!
April 10 Hills and Valleys....Have you ever felt like the road you're on is one giant circle. That the things you struggle with now are much the same things you struggled with five years ago....ten years ago? Well...I can say without reservation that you are not in that boat alone. This last weekend I was reminded of a time when seriously...it was probably all my parents could do to not give up on me. I faced the same struggle in a different situation again this week. Sometimes I feel as though the scenery never changes when if comes to sin in my life. God continues to bring about circumstances to break pride and selfishness, but pretty soon...here they come again. The only solace I find is that in many ways the road isn't as hilly as it used to be...that as I continue to travel it...the hills and valleys become more even....the spikes of pride and selfishness are shorter lived and more quickly regretted and confessed than they used to be. Like I say that's pretty much the only consolation sometimes. I have been reading Joshua this week...
Joshua 1:7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." He's with me wherever I go...in the times when I am struggling and the times when I am not...He is there.
February 08 Every Good thing...I was meditating on Psalm 16 this morning...many verses stood out...I am so glad our Father is one who is immovable...steadfast...secure...unshakable...unchanging...He is my rock. All things change...but He remains constant. It is a good thing to trust in a good God!
Psalm 16
1 Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge.
2 I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."
3 As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.
4 The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips.
5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.
6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.
7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,
10 because you will not abandon me to the grave, or will you let your Holy One see decay.
11 You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. January 24 Wind and whispers...Today...it's grey, gloomy and windy outside....and whispers from the enemy cloud my brain inside...
January 04 4 of meI just found out there are only four of me in the USA...Hmmmm...here I thought I was one of a kind :-) ha ha
December 06 A pinched off piece of clay....I've been reading Job the past few days....here are some random thoughts in Andy Rooney fashion :-)
Job and his friends are funny cats...on occasion it seems like his friends have a bit of truth in what they say....even if they aren't being very considerate in how they say it. Sometimes Job seems humble..other times maybe (if not prideful) as least not fully thinking about what he's saying. Most of the time...during the day...I feel the same way....I look back and find that my foot has spent more time in my mouth than on the ground. I think they struggled with the same problem :-)
Sometimes what Job's friends say also seems pretty funny....like when Elihu says in chapter 33:6 "...I too was pinched off from a piece of clay" :-) Never thought of myself as a pinched off piece of clay, but when I think about what it means to be wise...to find wisdom....if it wasn't for God's grace...I'd have about as much chance finding wisdom as a piece of clay has in making itself a beautiful pot on it's own. I feel as helpless to find wisdom as I do maintain zeal for God or His word. Every time I turn around...there is something else I can't manufacture on my own...something I am not just a little in need of God to provide, but wholly in need of His provision.
It's ridiculous when we really think about life...the brevity, but shear significance of it...the apparent radomness and yet complete order in it...to think that in entirety it was not ordered by someone...by a creator is simply unfathomable. I find it amazing that even in that statement there is a hint of wisdom...that only God could provide.
I guess today...I'm amazed at God...that He's patient with me and on occasion chooses to let a splash of His wisdom spill over into my consciousness. For that I'm grateful. He's amazing!
Here's what Job says about wisdom in chapter 28....
12 "But where can wisdom be found? Where does understanding dwell?
13 Man does not comprehend its worth; it cannot be found in the land of the living.
14 The deep says, 'It is not in me'; the sea says, 'It is not with me.'
15 It cannot be bought with the finest gold, nor can its price be weighed in silver.
16 It cannot be bought with the gold of Ophir, with precious onyx or sapphires.
17 Neither gold nor crystal can compare with it, nor can it be had for jewels of gold.
18 Coral and jasper are not worthy of mention; the price of wisdom is beyond rubies.
19 The topaz of Cush cannot compare with it; it cannot be bought with pure gold.
20 "Where then does wisdom come from? Where does understanding dwell?
21 It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing, oncealed even from the birds of the air.
22 Destruction and Death say, 'Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.'
23 God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells,
24 for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens.
25 When he established the force of the wind and measured out the waters,
26 when he made a decree for the rain and a path for the thunderstorm,
27 then he looked at wisdom and appraised it; he confirmed it and tested it.
28 And he said to man, 'The fear of the Lord —that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.' "October 31 A Word on contentment...Worth a duplicate post!Sara...A friend of mine had this quote posted on her blog this week....I thought it was worth a noodle...and a duplicate post....GOOD STUFF!
"Trust hangs somewhere between knowing what your heart longs for and trying to dictate the shape or timing or outcome of your heart's desire. It lies in the willingness to accept the particulars of how and when and where God chooses to intervene. It waits in the cool shade of surrender."
-Paula Rinehart, "Strong Women, Soft Hearts" . October 30 Overcoming Sin & TemptationHere's a link to the book titled above...
I’ve only read the first chapter, but so far I am impressed with this. I wouldn’t say it’s an "easy" read, but I think probably worth the effort thus far. I have a lot of books that deal with overcoming sin...most deal with disciplining our lives to avoid rather than see it for what it is....ugly.
I’m looking forward to completing this book and would at least thus far...would not hesitate to give it a recommendation. Suffering & the Sovereignty of GodHeres a link to the above referenced book…
I’ve only read a couple chapters (on my way through the second) out of the Suffering & the Sovereignty of God. So far I think it’s well done and thought provoking. Seems to touch on a lot of different areas.
The book does seem to be “real” and not dance around the subject…and seems to offer practical application…encouragement in the midst of suffering.
I have read “disappointment with God” by Phillip Yancy and this seems to be on par if not better so far. October 24 The need to reach....Have you ever wondered why we experience trials? Why life seems to be filled with struggles? Why sometimes things just don't go our way? Here is a sweet passage I ran across this morning....
1 Peter 1:3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
At least one of the answers to the question "why" appears to be...to allow ourselves to test and see if the faith is...actually real... legitimate faith.
Another "why" appears to be to build perseverance, character, and hope...Romans 5.... Romans 5:1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Why did God design things to be like this???
Acts 17:26From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. 27God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.
Good times... or hard times... both appear to be designed to help us see our need to REACH for Him. September 22 Stay and Stand" or "Scatter and SpreadI was reading in Acts this morning again and bumped across the verses below...
Acts 8:1And Saul was there, giving approval to his death. On that day a great persecution broke out against the church at Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria. 2Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him. 3But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off men and women and put them in prison.
What struck me was that all except the apostles were scattered across Judea and Samaria. I know it was God's intention through the persecution to spread the Gospel and His church across the known world...and He allowed it...what struck me this morning was in the first verse when it says all "except the apostles" were scattered.
I wonder if persecution broke out across America if individually we would stay & stand or be scattered. Both responses were essential...both were used by God...the scattered spread the Gospel and the apostles stayed in Jerusalem...encouraging those who were imprisoned.
I just began to wonder if I would "scatter and spread" or "stay and encourage". How in circumstances like that one reaches a decision on what to do. Just some thoughts on a friday morning :-)
September 12 Thank you Lord...everything I don't deserve...I woke up "early"... or at least I thought it was early... I looked at the clock and thought I saw 4:45... it in fact was 5:45 and I was behind schedule... but... at the time I thought I was ahead of schedule... ok back to the story...
So... I woke up "early" and was laying in bed and just thinking. In the space of about 10 minutes (you can cover a lot of thinking in 10 minutes :-)) I just thought about my life. Right now things are sitting pretty good... a place to eat and sleep... no major stresses and in fact some major blessings in my life. I began to think about what it would be like if I lost everything like Job did. Now thinking about these sorts of things can be dangerous sometimes... you never want to put yourself out there to test God or to be tested by Him and by typing these things, I'm not intending to do that... please know that Lord :-)
But as I was saying... as I sat there and thought about this... I just started to remember and thank the Lord for so much. I sure don't deserve anything. I thought about my life...growing up on a farm... working side by side with my dad and family... graduating high school (tons of good memories!)... off to Iowa State University and graduating (again tons of good memories!)... getting the job I wanted with the company I wanted... moving back to Iowa.... getting a job in waterloo... the job I wanted... the place I wanted... transferring to Ames... memories... Cornerstone... family... friends... Tara...everything...
I became a little overwhelmed to say the least. Then I thought about what it meant that God had chosen me to know Him... called me to be His child... out of darkness... into the light. Then thinking about the guy... the child... in China... Africa... Iraq... India.... Iran.... Turkey... Khazakstan.... and a bizillion other places where the do not even have the chance to know ABOUT who God really is... that He desires to know them.... that they can be sure of their eternal destination.
God's grace... undeserved... unmerited... nothing... nothing I deserve! Quite the opposite I deserve the pit of hell for my sin.... but God's amazing generosity rescues me from what I deserve. Help me to be a blessing to others Lord!
Off to start the day after I realize it was really about 6am and I was late to get my morning cup of coffee... Thank you Lord... for everything I don't deserve...
September 06 Two of my favorite things to do...Tonight I did two of the most fun things...I flew a Piper Warrior...very fun plane that I got checked out in the other night...and I flew with some of my favorite people in the world...Tara, Marisa, and Doug. God has blessed me so very much...tonight I'm thankful for the simple things. Wow...so fun! Below is what a Piper warrior looks like....although ours was blue :-) August 21 Do we seek Him...not a question of motive...but of need!Those who
seek Jesus do so for a variety of reasons...
We seek Him
today for many of the same reasons...
Why are we seeking him?
Matthew 7
says...literally...keep asking and it will be given...keep seeking and you will
find...keep knocking and the door will be opened. Our motives are probably
going to always be questionable...likely always be a little personal need
in there...probably infrequently out of genuine worship and
adoration...but this particular question is not motive...but one of
need...
Granted God
is concerned with our motivation also, but He seems to have always addressed the
motive in the answer...when He found those who were seeking Him...so the
question remains...
Do we seek
Him?
John 11:16Then Thomas (called Didymus)
said to the rest of the disciples, "Let us also go, that we may die with him."
John 11:57But the chief priests and Pharisees had
given orders that if anyone found out where Jesus was, he should report it so
that they might arrest him.
Luke 8:44She came up behind him and touched the
edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.
Luke 7:3The centurion heard of Jesus and sent some
elders of the Jews to him, asking him to come and heal his
servant
Luke 7:37When a woman who had lived a sinful life
in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought
an alabaster jar of perfume, 38and as she stood
behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then
she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
Luke 4: 1Jesus,
full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in
the desert, 2where for forty days he was tempted by
the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them he was
hungry.
Matthew 9:1He called his twelve disciples to him
and gave them authority to drive out evil spirits and to heal every disease and
sickness.
Matthew
7:7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the
door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks
receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be
opened.
Luke 5:27After this,
Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi sitting at his tax
booth. "Follow me," Jesus said to him, 28and Levi got
up, left everything and followed him.
August 17 God's grace...What do we really know???A comment from a friend of mine about the inability
of men to understand women (kind of funny) ;-) this morning got me to thinking
about our inability to really know much about anybody...or even ourselves for
that matter. Proverbs 25 speaks of kings hearts, but honestly...everyone's
heart is pretty much unsearchable even to those who know them the
best.
August 08 Very Cool Song!!!Ran into a very cool song by Keith Urban today...not exactly what I'm used to blogging, but this is for stuff rolling around in my head....and...well...it's been rolling around in my head :-)...
Somebody Like You - Keith Urban
There's a new wind blowin' like I've never known.
I'm breathin' deeper than I've ever done. And it sure feels good, to finally feel the way I do. I wanna love somebody, Love somebody like you. An' I'm lettin' go of all my lonely yesterdays.
I've forgiven myself for the mistakes I've made. Now there's just one thing, the only thing I wanna do, mmm, mmm. I wanna love somebody, Love somebody like you. Yeah, I wanna feel the sunshine,
Shinin' down on me and you. When you put your arms around me, You let me know there's nothing in this world I can't do. I used to run in circles goin' no-where fast.
I'd take, uh, one step forward and two steps back. Couldn't walk a straight line even if I wanted to, mmm, mmm. I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you. Whoa here we go now!
Yeah, I wanna feel the sunshine, Shinin' down on me and you. When you put your arms around me, Well, baby there ain't nothing in this world I can't do. Sometimes it's hard for me to understand,
But you're teachin' me to be a better man. I don't want to take this life for granted like I used to do, no, no. I wanna love somebody, Love somebody like you. I'm ready to love somebody,
Love somebody like you. Oooh. An' I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you, yeah. Oh yeah.
Oh, I wanna be the man in the middle of the night, Shinin' like it's true. I wanna be the man that you run to whenever I call on you When everything that loved someone finally found it's way Wanna be a better man I see it in you yeah... |
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